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A Carers Thought's

right from the start, you were a thief, you stole my heart

It’s been a busy couple of weeks hence the delay for this post! Last week we visited the pain management clinic for the first time, I came out feeling very positive as the doctor we saw seemed very determined to get Si better. She wants him to have a second opinion about operating on his back and will also want him to do physio and more counselling. Si was very positive too. He is not a very positive person generally so I should have noticed that there was something wrong really. The next day we had his usual psych appointment. While we were getting ready, he broke down, he was crying his heart out. He admitted that he was terrified of having an operation, he didn’t want another steroid injection which she also said she wants to do and he was scared of getting better. This may seem odd to you but it has taken a long time for him to accept that this is how he is. Now his life is being turned upside down again. I understand his fears completely and I hate knowing he is in such turmoil, any treatments are a long way off so at least he has a while to get his head together. He was worried that I would feel like he had let me down if he didn’t do everything she wanted him to but I just want him to be happy I won’t force him into anything and  I never would, I would like him to have an easier life of course but I definitely will not make him do anything he is not comfortable with.

Update on my dad – my dad seems to be making a good recovery however his drinking habits haven’t changed so he hasn’t learnt anything. He was offered an operation but refused it, he says it was only to stop a dent forming in his cheek and he’s not bothered if that happens. He did attend his counselling and says he found it OK.

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