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A Carers Thought's

right from the start, you were a thief, you stole my heart

Tag Archives: PIP

So we received the dreaded brown envelope yesterday, I was at work all day and didn’t manage to speak to si at all throughout the day so he sat here stewing about it. I haven’t even read the form yet, I hid it from him as soon as I came in as we were having a day out today to visit his family in Cardiff. I hoped it would be “out of sight, out of mind” but unsurprisingly it didn’t work. I wanted him to be able to have one last day off, free of the stress of it but understandably, he couldn’t get it out of his head.
He has ended up staying with his nan as she had a fall earlier in the week and it has affected her more than she let on. He has replaced one worry with another, which is equally out of his control. He had enough of some medication with him but not others, so I said I would post what he needed, when I got home I looked on the royal mail website and realised it’s illegal to post medication! Obvious when you think about it but I just didn’t think. He has said he will call NHS direct tmo and see what he can do but I know he will just go without if he can’t get it and even though it’s a 6 hour round trip, I would rather take it to him. I feel like such an idiot for not realising I wouldn’t be able to post it. I was looking forward to a few unexpected “days off” not worrying so much, not being ruled by medication times etc and now it’s even worse than when he’s here!
I know it sounds terrible but it is nice to have some time to myself, I won’t be just lounging around though, we were planning to do his form tomorrow so I think I will go over it and maybe write my suggestions for him, to help him and hopefully ease the stress a bit. I just reblogged a worrying post, which shows that 2 out of 3 pip applications are being denied. I honestly believe another tribunal will break him. It’s such an intense amount of pressure, and when you are coping with extreme pain, depression and a very limited life, it seems that much worse. It’s the very last thing any disabled person needs.
We only have until the 3rd of March to return the form and the onus is on us to gather any evidence, bastards.
Sorry if I have bored you with my rant! Just sick of getting shit on by this government.

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So it’s been ages since I wrote and to be honest, everything has been going OK. Si is getting worse but that’s to be expected, his hands and arms are starting to give up due to being on the crutches full time and his mobility is much worse, he is on stronger medication and getting more depressed but we have been coping. Money hasn’t been an issue really and that has made a big difference.

Then this morning we received the first letter about pip. They claim they wrote to us two weeks  ago saying he had to begin a claim for it but we have received nothing, this means we only have two weeks to get a form, fill it in, obtain evidence etc. And so the stress, frustration and justification starts all over again. 

It’s so terrifying knowing we are probably going to lose the car, and his money. Anyone who doesn’t have a good understanding of this process and the dwp won’t understand this as they can see clearly he should be entitled. That’s simply not enough anymore. People are dying before being awarded it, people are being driven to suicide because of the strain put on you, and I’m so scared of how si will react if he doesn’t get awarded it and we have to go through the whole tribunal process again. I honestly do not know that we would survive it. 

On top of this we were planning to get married this year but I don’t think we can afford to make that commitment to no matter how cheaply we do it. I am just realising that this is going to be a continuous process for our entire lives. Every two years or so we are going to have to go through this. Every time you win a battle, they start planning for the next one and you can never relax. 

I’m at work in 5 and a half hours and can’t get to sleep for worrying.

The only way I can think of explaining it to someone who doesn’t have to go through this is if you were to turn up to work and your manager decided that every two years, whether there was a change in your work or not, they would assess you and decide whether you would get paid or not. They would decide which evidence and parts of your work counted towards the assessment and your behaviour and ethic would barely be recognised. Doesn’t sound fair or logical does it? Yet this is what many millions of disabled claimants go through on a regular basis. 

As well as this my dad has started fainting again due to drinking even more heavily and my mom is threatening to leave him. It feels like my life is turning to shit once again. 

I try so hard to stay positive, especially for si but it just feels like the whole world is against you sometimes. Anyways I had better try to sleep again. 

Things can only get better 🙂 

 

 

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